Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
