I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
