I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
