Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
