I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize