If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize