I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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