you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
