I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Oh god it's open bar.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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