he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
