Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
