mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
