Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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