I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
