8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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