That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
