I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
