I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
