I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
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remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
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I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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