she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
