I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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