Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
