Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It's Friday. Sex?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
