But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
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