just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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