Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
