After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
