So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
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New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
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I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize