my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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