Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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