forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
