yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
