We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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