whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
