Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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