return my video game
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
