i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
sex in a hospital.. check
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
