Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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