For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
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