I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
They are going to name an STD after you.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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