i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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