i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
