he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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