it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
its liver damage thursday
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
