She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He did a backflip because drugs
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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