then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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