ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i will never coherently bang her
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
