If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
