Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
