just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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