I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
