hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
