I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
