Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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