Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
