take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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