I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize